I am scaling a mountain right now. Sometimes I make good progress and feel elevations falling quickly beneath me; sometimes I struggle for toe and fingerholds on vertical faces. I know that I will reach the top of this mountain–I have no idea what I will find when I get there but I know I will make it. It may take months or it may take years. The air is thinning, breathing becomes a luxury until I adapt, but I do and am able to take in a beautiful view of the world spreading out in all directions.
The search for an agent continues. I had a few hard days last week caught up in a seemingly bottomless doubt that left me unable to even write. I’ve been through this before and knew it would pass. This is not an easy thing–I’m sure you understand this–having a challenging ambition, one most people fail at that you cannot fail at. It could be making a living as a writer or a painter or a musician or starting your own business. Raising kids–man, I admire people who do a good job at that.
The novel I am looking to sell is very controversial, maybe even more controversial than American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis.Most agents and publishers will be leery of handling it–I know this. I’ve known this since I first started working on it maybe eight years ago. But it’s a good story and I want to share it with you, share it with the world. Will it be my first novel? I would like to think so, but I am open to signs or portents. I listen to my own instincts and I have back-up plans. I have another novel that is pretty much finished, a “Young Adult” novel that I am currently tightening up the ending on. Beyond that, I have the Next Big Project planned out and have written a couple thousand words on it. Honestly, I have not felt truly inspired to work on it so I am holding off until the kindling catches and it is time to sit next to the fire, sip whiskey, and marvel at the beasts howling somewhere off in the darkness.
I do not write these blogs very often. When there is “news” I will but until then it seems a waste of both your time and mine. And time is a very precious thing, isn’t it?
Thank you for reading. Izk….